Feelings as a guide.
One of the most beautiful things about a human being is our capacity to feel, hold and share emotion with another person. These range of emotions can lead us to feel contagious joy and sweet love or heavy sadness and dark anger. Sometimes, it can be too overwhelming to feel our intense emotions which could result in emotional exhaustion or it may be tempting to shut down all together. In times like this, it’s important to understand that our feelings do not exist to hurt us but to guide us. Our feelings hold stories and until these stories are properly understood, our bodies tend to hold these emotions as information until we are ready to listen.
These feelings tell us a story that is happening within us and when you listen to your feelings, try to resist labelling them as good or bad. Try to observe them without thinking that there is a right or wrong in how you feel but simply accept them as they are. When we separate ourselves from our feelings and simply observe what the feelings tell us, we can respond in a healthy way rather than reactive ways. Responding in a healthy way to a feeling could be asking ourselves, “Why is that feeling coming up for me?” “What memory or story does that feeling hold?” Allowing yourself to be curious of what caused that particular feeling to arise and letting go of any shame attached to this process is crucial.
Shame makes us want to hide our emotions, our stories and ultimately, our truest self. When we accept our feelings just as they are and listen to the stories they tell us, we begin to process our intense emotions with kindness. We begin to heal, learn and grow. Sometimes, our feelings can feel so strong that it can feel like they are controlling us but remember that you are in control. You have the power to say, “Thank you for letting me know what’s going on inside of me. Thank you for telling me what stories these feelings hold. But I am in control now and I can take it from here. I will respond and not react.” This way, we are able to let the feelings go through us and not hold onto us. We are able to use our feelings as our guide. We are able to befriend our feelings rather than treat it as our enemy.